She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
