You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
