I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
