thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it glows. i had to have it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
