adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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