I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
