marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
its liver damage thursday
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
