I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
