So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize