ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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