We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
