Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
