Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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