Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
