just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
