I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
