new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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