I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
