I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
