Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
