I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
