I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
