I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
