just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
