you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
