my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
