I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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