I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
