did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
