Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
