I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
