Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Pants are for mortals
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
