if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
