I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
