I wannas sexs uuuuu
false alarm. still invincible.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
