fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
