So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
