god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The air was thick with penises
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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