Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
