Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
