im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
