when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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