i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
