'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
