Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
