Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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