I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
