Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dick very happy bro
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I need to align my fucking chakras
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