if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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