You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
