so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
