Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
God, I missed his penis.
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